Diligence and Trust

Hello All,
Russ here. I was having a conversation with a friend of mine at church this morning and I just felt like sharing some of it. My friend Chris asked me how our adoption stuff was going. I told him about our current hang up with the paperwork, and how it wasn't that big of a deal, but just kind of frustrating to be adding an extra two weeks just like "that". It's kind of an interesting thing for me to be going through the adoption process. With our first four kids, Carmen did almost all of the work. I'm being honest. As a guy, I will never know the difficulties that women face during pregnancy and giving birth to a child. But with our adoption I have been able to be just as much a part of bringing this child (or children) into our family as Carmen. My role as father has been taking on new and interesting depths to me during our adoption process. I'm supposed to be the provider, and protector of my little family. I'm supposed to be responsible to see that the gospel is being taught in my home. I'm supposed to take care of their physical needs, I'm supposed to keep them all safe and secure. With my family up until now, I've felt like I had a pretty decent grasp on my role. Until now, it has been within my power to earn enough money to make ends meet, and even to save just a little for a rainy day. Until now it has been within my power to make sure that all of my children have plenty of nutritious food to eat every single day. Until now I have been able to call all of my family together to kneel down and pray and give thanks to the Lord every single day. As of right now I don't have the ability to preside, provide for, or protect all of my family. I simply can't do it. I have such tremendous feelings of fatherhood and love for a child or children that I don't even know yet. I love them just the same as any of my other four kids, and yet I have no way to act on that love other than to try to get my paperwork done. It is been a terribly difficult lesson for me to grasp. Until now I've never NOT been able to do everything it takes to be a good father.
I've been shocked at how that little fact eats at me.
Getting back to my conversation at church this morning, Chris said something to the effect of "it is hard to know when you are striking the right ballance between being diligent in something, and having trust in God that He is truly in control." I hope that I can develop that trust and faith as soon as possible. I hope that I can be diligent and faithfull. Sometimes I feel like my family depends on it.